Mood:
mischieviousTopic: snowboarding
Not everyone in the world knows how I got my nickname. There used to be this little discussion group called rec.skiing.snowboard. I used to post lots and lots of comments there the summer after my first real season when I learned to snowboard. Well, what else was I going to do - it was SUMMER! Of course, this was back in the day when I was still using a MAC SE and checking my email with ELM and PINE. Before I knew what netscape navigator was, back when I thought webpages were just TEXT. Back when I worked at Upenn. Incidentally, this was the same summer that my skateboard got run over by a maniac in West Philly - I think she was actually trying to run ME over.... but I digress.
In this newsgroup, there was a fellow by the name of John Webster. He's the one who gave me the OFFICIAL nickname of punk rock shred grrl. I was playing around with different signatures, and he kind of combined them and helped me discover my true internet identity. An identity that has followed me through 4 states / 7 ski resorts (and that's just the ones I've lived in / worked at.) I actually met him while I was living in Vermont - he had lived at Mt Snow the year before I moved to Stratton, and he was living in Massachusettes, but he came up to visit a friend of his, who happenned to know my roommate at the time (kinda like jackson, stratton has the two degrees of separation / small town ski resort / everybody knows your name situation.) I meet the coolest people on the internet.
Anyway, back then, there was a different type of spam. Porn websites would post advertisements in every newsgroup, regardless of whether or not it was appropriate to the topic. This really irritated those of us who actually wanted to discuss SNOWBOARDING.
Which leads me to my discovery. I just knew something unusual would have to happen on Friday the 13th. While surfing the internet, I google'd myself. Yes, I know, I am a dork. I noticed, for the first time, the other links at the top of the page, and clicked on froogle. Golly, Gee, I don't come up as an item in the shopping search engine. What a shocker. Then I clicked on groups. I was shocked to discover that not only does rec.skiing.snowboard still exist, but all the posts EVER are archived. I'm pretty sure it wasn't originally affiliated with google, but it is now. Anyway, I found links to all sorts of things that I had posted. Talk about a blast from the past. The most interesting one was so hilarious that I have to share it now.
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ORIGINALLY POSTED IN REC.SKIING.SNOWBOARD 9/12/96
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Newsgroups: rec.skiing.snowboard
From: Adena Chernosky
Date: 1996/09/12
Subject: Re: HOT WOMEN ARE WAITING FOR YOU!!!
DISCLAIMER!DISCLAIMER!DISCLAIMER!
If you found this message offensive DELETE NOW. DO NOT READ MY REPLY.... if this type of thing amuses you, press the space bar until you see more text....
On 12 Sep 1996, Rod Sundholm wrote:
> just call 1-800-SNO-SLUT
> and you can be hooked up witha beautifull snowboarding date for a day of
> fun on the snow
Top ten reasons why snowboarding is better than sex:
1. No matter how drunk you are, the board is always stiff.
2. You and your best friend can swap boards for a change of pace.
3. It doesn't take 3 hours of foreplay to get the snow wet.
4. Boards don't go limp after the first run.
5. No one whines about not wanting to go down on the mountain.
6. No matter how many times you do it, you can always get back up for one more run.
7. It's always easy to find a screw when you need one.
8. Stopping to take a piss doesn't kill the mood.
9. You can snowboard with someone who's only 14.
10. You don't need proof of your age to buy magazines with pictures of people snowboarding in them.
(anybody got more of these?)
wait..... a word from our sponsor:
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1 - 800 - SNO - SLUT
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Tired of those flat, boring, conventional rides?
You know, the ones everyone's already done....
call 1 - 800 - sno - slut.
We'll hook you up with someone who knows the ropes - especially which ones to duck under to find that perfect, secluded trail - the one you've only seen in your fantasies and dreams. She'll help you explore new terrain, show you tricks no one has ever seen before, help you to injure body parts you didn't even know you used when you ride...
Our girls know exactly where to hide from nosy ski patrol officers who want to keep you out of the untamed woodsy areas. They know exactly which crevices and bumps will give you the most riding pleasure, and they are specially trained in what
techniques to use to keep you going when that avalanche hits.
1 - 800 - SNO - SLUT.
Get off your rocks 'cause we live for huge dumps of
the soft white stuff....
-punk rock sno-slut extraordinaire
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END OF ORIGINAL POST FROM 1996
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Yeah, I used to be uncensored. If you found this amusing, and you'd like to see the rest of the thread, (there were some pretty funny replies to that post, let me tell you!) the entire thread can be found HERE. Enjoy!
Posted by prsgrrl
at 12:01 AM MST
Updated: Saturday, January 14, 2006 8:42 AM MST
